F*** Marry Kill—the 2024 flick that’s like Tinder meets a slasher movie, with a side of LOLs. If you’ve ever swiped right and wondered if your date might shank you, this one’s got your name on it. Directed by Laura Murphy and starring Lucy Hale as a true-crime junkie with a knack for picking the wrong guys, it’s a rowdy mash-up of comedy, mystery, and just enough thriller vibes to keep your beer hand twitching. Clocking in at a tight 1 hour 37 minutes, it’s R-rated but don’t expect buckets of gore—this ain’t Saw. It’s more like a bro-night romp with a killer twist, and I’m here to break it down without ruining the big “oh shit” moments.
Picture this: Eva Vaugh (Lucy Hale) is a 30-year-old single gal who’d rather binge murder podcasts than deal with dating apps. Her crew—think ride-or-die besties who’d totally help you hide a body—shove her into the online dating pool on her birthday. She ends up juggling three dudes: the charming f-boy, the “maybe he’s husband material” guy, and the one who might just be the “Swipe Right Killer” carving up women in Boulder, Colorado. The story’s a game of guess-who where Eva and her squad try to figure out which date’s a dud, which one’s a keeper, and which one’s got a knife behind his back. It’s less about jump scares and more about the chaos of modern dating with a murderous cherry on top. Think Scream if it traded the ghost mask for a dating profile and a raunchy smirk.
Lucy Hale is the MVP here, no question. She’s got that girl-next-door vibe but with a badass edge—like she could flirt with you at the bar and then outsmart you in a bar fight. Eva’s a mess in the best way, stumbling through dates while piecing together clues from her favorite podcast. Hale nails the mix of awkward charm and “I got this” energy, making you root for her even when she’s making dumb calls—like, c’mon, lady, don’t meet the sketchy dude alone! Virginia Gardner as her bestie is the perfect wingwoman—sassy, loyal, and ready to throw hands if needed. She’s the kind of pal who’d shotgun a beer with you while plotting to take down a creep. The guy trio—Jedidiah Goodacre, Brendan Morgan, and Samer Salem—keep you guessing. Goodacre’s got that slick, “I’d steal your girl” swagger, Morgan plays the nice-guy card (maybe too nice?), and Salem’s brooding intensity makes you wonder if he’s deep or just deranged. They’re not Oscar-bound, but they sell the “who’s the psycho?” vibe well enough to keep the tension simmering.
The visuals? Man, this movie’s got a clean, punchy look—like a dating app profile pic that’s too good to be true but still hooks you. Boulder’s snowy streets and cozy bars feel lived-in, not some Hollywood backlot BS. The camera doesn’t get too fancy, but it knows how to frame a suspicious glance or a flirty moment to keep you locked in. There’s this one scene at a swanky restaurant that’s so empty it’s almost hilarious—like, did the killer already clear the place out? Budget vibes aside, it’s got a crisp, millennial polish that’s easy on the eyes. The sound cranks it up a notch—think pulsing beats that vibe like a nightclub playlist, mixed with podcast snippets that drop clues like breadcrumbs. It’s not gonna blow your subwoofer, but it’s got enough thump to pair with a cold one.
Now, let’s get real—this ain’t a masterpiece. The plot’s got more red herrings than a fisherman’s net, and some twists feel like they’re trying too hard to flex. It’s not scary enough to make you sleep with the lights on, and the R-rating teases more edge than it delivers. Where’s the wild hookup scenes or gutsy kills, huh? Still, it’s a damn good time if you’re in the mood for something light and rowdy. The humor lands—Eva’s quips about dating disasters are gold, and her crew’s banter feels like your own squad after a few shots. It’s the kind of movie you’d watch with the boys, cracking jokes and yelling at the screen when she picks the obvious wrong guy. The final reveal? Let’s just say it’s a curveball that’ll have you going, “No way, dude!”—in a good way.
For the guy crowd, this flick’s got swagger. It’s not Mad Max badass, but it’s got a cool, “what if your Tinder date was a killer?” hook that’s perfect for a night of bullshitting with your buds. Pair it with a six-pack, and you’re golden—it’s fast-paced enough to keep you buzzing but chill enough to sip through. Sexy scenes? Eh, it’s more flirty than freaky—no nudity, just some steamy tension that leaves you hanging. Date night? Maybe if she’s into true crime and doesn’t mind a laugh over a scare. Mind-blowing? Nah, it’s not rewriting the playbook, but it’s got enough juice to keep you entertained.
F*** Marry Kill is like that one crazy night out you still talk about—messy, fun, and a little nuts. It’s not gonna change your life, but it’s a solid pick for when you want to kick back, laugh, and maybe rethink your dating app strategy. Lucy Hale and the gang carry it with charm, the visuals and sound keep it popping, and the vibe’s just right for a no-pressure hang. So, grab a brew, rally the crew, and swipe right on this one—you won’t regret it. Well, unless you’re the killer.
